The Empire of Epsilon Alpha is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by genzoz with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, aversion to nipples, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.345 billion Epsilon Alphans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Education, Healthcare, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dominus. The average income tax rate is 62.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Epsilon Alphan economy, worth 489 trillion Denars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 146,400 Denars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

School uniforms are compulsory, boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register, facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, and there's nothing more rock-and-roll than absolute sobriety. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Epsilon Alpha's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Worshippers of Yuggoth.

Epsilon Alpha is ranked 111,066^th in the world and 192^nd in Wintreath for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 170.4 on the Clooney Contribution Index.